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| I had a great day and night. Spent the day studying and getting some sun and pool fun in. And then sat down to write my first Stand Up Comedy act. Performed to a packed crowd who liked my stuff, which was great. Whats better is I started my first comedic riot, when I cracked a joke about an experience in Saudi. It was interesting....and I didn't win, but then ended up enjoying the stage again, after a very long time.
On an other note, I did some self thinking about how I react with women and why I am still single. I make decisions like I want to be someone's friend, when I clearly want to be more than a friend. Do I stick to my decision of hanging with her as a friend, even after she said no to take it to another step?
Somedays I feel that I am that NICE guy who always for the unavailable girl. I never find someone who is single attractive or worth talking. Or atleast I thought this, but lately, I am beginning to feel its the way I come on to women. The more understanding person, who they can talk to about anything. This doesn't bode well, as they then see me as a friend rather than more than a friend.
I am always told be myself....but being myself hasn't got me anywhere. Maybe its time I am not myself....even if it means losing friendships. Do I stick to my own advise of letting things go and if they are meant to be, then it will come back to me.
I am confused.
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| Its a good feeling....happiness. I felt that again today, and the source of that happiness was a common friend of ours....XANGA !!!
It was great reading my first post, way back in 2003, when I first started blogging. I used it as a way to keep in touch with people, this was way before Facebook/Twitter made their debut. It was a great way to air out my thoughts and also improve my writing. Come to think of it, if you go through the posts, you can see the progression of my writing and how it has evolved. That made me smile....having a record of my growth as a person and my skill of writing, is great.
Life is good again....for now. I need to keep at reminding myself of the good times and my feelings through those times, cuz its very hard not to feel good about it. And in conjunction with that I am also going to take things as they come...live the motto of my oldest t-shirt....NO FEAR !!!!
I can Do It !
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| So, I have had another one of those epiphany-filled afternoons, where the variety of thoughts that pass through my head could paint a picture no rainbow could. Ranging from my goals in life, my strengths, my weaknesses, my plan to combat my weaknesses, my regrets, things missing from my life, things I am thankful for, etc. etc. As aforementioned, colorful would be an understatement.
So the first of these thoughts, and my biggest checkbox, are about my fears. Starting with my hypochondriac tendencies to relate all issues to varying measures of death. Be it an indigestion attack or a strain in my neck from sleeping all the time. These fears have taken over the creative part of my brain, and led to me spending countless hours just lying in bed or in front of the tv, which could be spent exploring the world that is around me. Then the immediate fear to follow, is that of the unknown, of what could, and what ifs....I need it to stop.
I NEED to hold life by horns and brace myself for whatever it throws my way...which will be a lot. I can't be stuck in this bubble of always having everything planned out and having everything taken out. I want to have some unknowns, that's the fun part of life.
I am lost, as to how I am going to accomplish this, but I am sure it will come to me...in pieces.
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| So, I decided to finally do good things...signed up for that stand up comedy show that I have always wanted to do. I am thinking its going to be easy, but I have been known to be wrong in the past. Lets see how it turns up. It will be a good avenue to vent my frustrations....and whats better, the first place is a weekend night stay at one of them luxury apartments.
What what !!!!!
Need all the positive energy and WIT from the universe...please channel some my way.
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Blue
By A.R.Rahman;Rashid Ali;Blaaze;Raqeeb Alam;Sonu Kakkar;Jaspreet Singh;Neha Kakkar;Dilshad;Madhushree;Ujjaiyinee Roy;Udit Narayan;Kylie Minogue;Sonu Nigam;Sukhvinder Singh;Shreya Ghoshal
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My little escapade yesterday left me bubbling with thoughts of "what ifs" and "Should'ves" that I couldn't keep it all inside. I made a list of things I wanted to say, but didn't know I wanted to say it till this afternoon, and if the heavens give me the chance, I will say them when I get the next chance. That being said, its a unique emotional experience, knowing that your feelings for a person is not reciprocated with equal vigor. Nevertheless, it is ironically comforting, that atleast I put passion behind something, after a very very long time.
As I was killing time at work, trying to figure out my options for grad school and the application process, a fact dawned on me that I have practically NO good extra curricular activities to list in my essay. I have done a lot of stuff back in college and possibly earlier in my advent in Bahrain, but in the recent past, I have done Jack Squat. I decided its time to remedy this....high time, indeed. So, I have signed up to take acting classes, and improv classes to boost my creative attributes. I know they are hidden inside the landslide of negative connotations that has saturated any creative hope.
That led me to think further, as I poured through my earlier pieces. I have written a couple on here, and many more on my notebook. I figured atleast a few of them would be good to be published somewhere....anywhere, even if its small. A foot in the door, so to speak. So I am going to pursue that opportunity as well.
I feel a surge of energy in me....I dont know what it is, but I am going to presume its Realization.
GO STATE !!!!
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